It's hard to use your voice, when people are trying to silence your truth.It's honestly been so hard to find the time, strength, and will over the last year to recount and safely....freely, express everything's that's been happening. And, as a travel blog, during a pandemic, I haven't had those experiences to reflect on yet, either.But baby. Honey doll face. YA GIRL IS GOING TO LEAVE THE MFING COUNTRYYYYYYY. Yes. Say, HOlllllAAaaaaaAAAAAA, commaaaa estaaasos, Kayla's going to el ay Mexicoooo and Costa Rica. So that's beautiful. And giving me so much strength to survive, it's been a shiny light at the end of a dimly light, suffocating tunnel. With that being said,I can confidently say and celebrate, I have completed my first year of first grade!!! And, for the first time in my entire teaching career, I get to teach the same grade level two years in a row. Finally. For the first time in my life. I get to stay in the same classroom, the same grade level, the same building, the same curriculum, oh my goodness. Wow. Wow.... Magically on the island I loved with my whole heartssssss. I have such amazing connections here with beautiful people. It's like everyone ends up on Kauai by magic... fate. But everyone has such similar beliefs and if you don't....the island lets you know, and kicks you off... // I wish I could have shared or expressed what I was going through. How school was going, people. Myself. My home life. But in times of darkness, you need to hide in the shade. I guess after everything, I myself, wasn't ready for a half assed relationship. And when I expressed my needs, the manipulation and gaslighting was so insane. The best I could do was go into survival mode. Hide my truth. Try to live. Do what it needed to take, all of course, in a metaphorical manner. During those times, I thought I made strong connections and bonds with people who pretended to be my friend... but never was truly. I went on plenty excursions, chatted a bunch, but that 'friend', showed their true colors. My momma said she once walked past the devil. She could feel it in her soul, down to the marrow of her bones. This man, had cold, dark, black never ending eyes like a blackhole a face with zero expression, no movement of eyebrows, a thin, snarky, barely existent like line for a mouth. And when he walked by, you could feel every happy moment drain from you. Now, I have yet to witness such an impacting encounter, but I could imagine. I feel sorry for you, 'friend'... Now with my home life..... there's a real reason why people tell you not to date your exs. That ex boyfriends or people should stay in the past. And that's really, truly, honestly, sooooo true. Even with being an empathic, patient, understanding, person. Like, brah. It's just been a loooong year coming.The older I get, I start to think and believe that it's not going to matter if I'm alone forever. Which use to be my biggest fear. And i would rather be alone than have to compromise my heart, soul and beliefs. My voice. Good things be coming though y'all. My own, cute, private, mini, 1 bedroom, Ohana, cottage/house! With my cute perfect girl Moon. And I never want my voice to be silenced again. Costa Rica and yoga, volcanos and thermal water falls, Mexico with aztec pyramids, and dynamic breath taking views. Good things be coming.
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AuthorMy name's Mykayla. I'm from the beautiful state of Oregon. Archives
November 2019
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